MyNotebook

I cant wait to really be with you. I’m excited and scared at the same time. For the first time in my life i will do something that i really want, and i dont give a shit on what other people may say or think about me. Making you happy is the only thing i have in mind since i met you. And i promise to do it for the rest of our lives together.

I love you so much.

Labs,

Happy Birthday! It’s that time of year again, i know your not that happy that your already 29 LOL. But it’s so much more than that. It’s another year of wonderful memories. Moments of giggles, sly smiles and inside jokes. So many great and bad memories. Sure there were some road bumps along the way too. We had some fights, some good ones in fact. But just think how boring it would be if we hadn’t. Then there wouldn’t be any make up lovin’. You know I’m kidding, well sort of. =)

Labs, I hope you make a great wish on your special day. I hope it comes true beyond your wildest dreams. I want nothing but good things for you and will work my entire life to make you happy. You are my joy. I look in your eyes each day and feel nothing but love. I am so lucky to be loved by you.

We have so many more birthdays to celebrate. More dreams to make a reality, more memories to share with me and our son Cian. My dream has already come true, I get to spend my entire life with you. Thank you for making my wish come true and I really hope yours do too. Happy birthday, Labs. I love you more than you’ll ever know..

How do we deal from insecurity and jealousy from our partners past relationships?  Is it really worth the time to think of each other’s past even if you know that it will hurt your feelings?  Here is my story of how I dealt with the monsters in my head aka my INSECURITY.

I’ve been in a relationship for 5 months now, and one of our recurring problems is our insecurities with both our past relationships, but I can say that mine is worse.  I admit that I’ve never been this insecure in my whole life.  My confidence about myself is really something I am proud of because no one ever made me feel that I’m just second best.  I have never felt this jealous in my past relationships.  Maybe it’s really true that when you are with the right person for you, all of these good and bad feelings will come out and eat you alive.  These monsters in my head really made me feel low and bad.  And when they started whispering things in my head, I wanted to pick up a fight with my partner even if there’s no reason to fight.  Then I will start searching on the web for information that will really make me feel sadder. Every time I feel this way, I cry in my bed.  It’s like I don’t know myself anymore and I’m just making fun of myself.  When things became worse that’s the time that I think of all the things I’m putting myself into.  I think of all my happy moments with my love, all the things we do together as lovers, our declaration of LOVE with each other.  These things wake me up from my nightmares.  I asked for an apology and accepted that i made a mistake. Being honest about what i feel never felt better.  The good thing about us is that we are open with our feelings.  Communication is really a big part of our relationship because we tend to talk about everything, good or bad.  I am proud to say that we are not just lovers, we’re also best friends.  I let my feelings flow and think of all the positive things as much as possible.  I stopped comparing myself with the “ex”; instead I focused on my traits and think of how I can become the best partner ever. I stopped overthinking and putting myself in situations that I can’t back down.  I think more about how good we are together as couple.  Then one day I just woke up and the monsters are gone, for good.

Insecurity spoils relationship.  It drives people crazy and dingy and this creates problems.  Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural up to a point, at least until the relationship “settles”.   Being insecure and jealous come from our mind worrying whether or not we are good enough.   It’s up to us how we overcome this behavior.  Dealing with insecurity can be frustrating at first.  The good news is if you work on it, anyone can stop being insecure and live their life the way they want to. It doesn’t matter who he or she has been with before.  It’s those decisions and those relationships that have made your partner the person you are in love with today.  In the same respect, it is your experiences, or lack of experiences that makes you the person that your partner loves today. Change your mindset and get comfortable with the person you are and the person you are becoming.

As my partner always say, LIVE and let LIVE.